We’re usually oblivious to the poor choices we make that induce negative ramifications in our lives.
I know I’ve been guilty especially when trying to be “considerate” of other people’s feelings or “protective” of the pain I might inflict. I can name several occasions where I knew I was really unhappy in certain situations but was in denial about it. By the time I decided to be honest with myself and others around me, it was clear I fixated myself in misery for too long. I’m sure many of you can relate…
We blindly fall into habit and routine to the the point where we lose awareness of how it impacts us emotionally and mentally. If you’re like me, then you might even succeed at convincing yourself that it isn’t that bad, it could be worse, or you start to look for comfort in other things. It becomes a vicious cycle of rationalization and validation. The source for our unhappiness become everything else except for the actual matter at hand.
This is something that’s become very real in my life as of late and I wanted to bring it to surface because I recognize how alone it can feel – especially when it seems like the world is against you. If you often find yourself making excuses, here are my top 5 ways to tell you’re making the wrong decision:
#1 Anxious feelings
I never knew what “anxiety” meant until I experienced it for the first time last year… Turns out the symptoms can be both physical and psychological, ranging from shortness of breath to restlessness and irritability. Whatever anxiousness you may be feeling, it’s probably time to take action if it becomes intense and persistent and starts to impact your everyday tasks. Don’t ignore the symptoms.
Are you avoiding something? If it’s your job, you maybe calling out sick just because or maximizing your vacation days. If it’s a person (maybe your boss or significant other), you start dodging them by keeping yourself busy with other tasks. Regardless of what you’re trying to avoid, pay attention to how often you’re trying to “avoid” it.
#3 Dreaming sans [fill in the blank]
We’re all dreamers… Some more than others. I know I’m undoubtedly a dreamer and often visualize my future plans… When those visions repeatedly appear without someone or something, there’s a reason for it – and it’s probably indicative of your desire for change.
#4 Negative physical effects
When something starts to cause so much stress in your life, it creeps up on you physically. You might feel more tired than normal or even sleeping excessively… Your appetite might start to change causing unexpected weight gain or loss… Maybe it’s prevalent in your skin and so you’re breaking out or just looking dull and gray… When the effects become physical, it’s just not worth it. Never be afraid to take a stand for the sake of your health.
#5 Even others you trust question you
Tread this point carefully because we know how harmful it can be to listen to everyone around us. I limit my trusted circle to ~2-3 people…and I’ve learned that this trusted circle often recognizes when my actions don’t align with my values and my beliefs – especially when I’m confused. Allow them to call you out on it and assess the validity of their opinion with an open mind.
Making a drastic life change is always scary, but you have to decide what’s worse: your current [unhappy] situation or the unknown? I’ve learned now that I’ll almost always pick the unknown!