Bond, Jane Bond.
I just typed: “Gillian Anderson” into Google and it auto-filled the third word: “Bond”. That’s a pretty big deal for a woman with a truckload of other things to be famous for (how is X-Files not the third word!?), but I guess that’s how much hype this whole female Bond thing is getting.
To fill you in – Gillian has a Tumblr, where she sometimes answers her fans’ questions, and one question was: “What’s the best rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself?” To which she answered: “That I might be the next Bond.”
Cue: complete internet meltdown.
Another name being thrown around is Idris Elba. Basically, it seems like people are a little tired of the never-ending stream of straight white dudes. But that’s not even what I want to talk about!
What I want to talk about is this feeling I get every time I come out of a Bond film where I’m like: “Damn, that was classy and kickass.”
I don’t want to be the “Bond girl”, I want to be the Bond. What would I wear? How do I speak? How do I stay that fit in order to kick that much bad-guy-butt? What do I smell like???
So, I’ve put together a little mental collage of what I think Jane Bond might be like.
Jane Bond wears:
Tom Ford has been responsible for the recent image of Daniel Craig as James Bond, and I think it’s great, but I don’t think Ford’s womenswear is the best we can do. You know what I’m thinking when I think about how strong, yet elegant Jane Bond needs to be? I’m thinking Celine. I’m thinking The Row. I’m thinking about some of Ellery’s more subtle cuts. They’re all strong and feminine and practical and stylish. Tom Ford can still do the eyewear though – man oh man does Tom know his way around frames!
Daniel as Bond also wears Rag & Bone jeans! I’m betting Gillian would be down with that. I’m down with that.
The only thing I can’t decide on yet is if she wears heels with her suits. I mean, it’s tricky, because Bond almost always ends up fighting the bad guy while looking killer in a suit, but it’s not exactly practical. What do you think? The girls in Charlie’s Angels managed to save the day in stilettos…
Jane Bond drives:
I don’t know anything about cars. Sure, whatever, an Aston Martin will be fine.
Jane Bond works out:
Every day. Hardcore body-to-body combat skills. Kickboxing! She’s strong. She’s fast. She does yoga to unwind and totally nails the headstands. She probably did ballet when she was younger and now she’ll have good posture for life. Bam bam bam.
Jane Bond smells like:
I know this is a leap, but every time I smell Armani’s Si fragrance it makes me feel like a classier version of myself. It helps that Cate Blanchett looks incredibly chic and strong in all the ads for it. Giorgio says: “Si is my tribute to modern femininity, an irresistible combination of grace, strength and independent spirit.” Sounds pretty fitting for the first female Bond, right?
Jane Bond drinks:
A martini, shaken not stirred, duh, but she also gets to make her own slightly different recipe and name it after the first man (or woman) who broke her heart. I.e. The Vespa… And also, of course, the Dom Perignon that appears in most of the books.
Do you agree with my choices? Have I missed anything?
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