Pop Culture

Why Are My Nipples Still Such a Big Deal? (FYI: Yours Are Too)

Written by: Bri Lee

What’s up with nipples these days, huh?

Everywhere I turn there’s some new, nipple-related BIG DEAL. I remember when a little celebrity nip-slip was a hot’n’juicy piece of gossip. After the Janet-Jackson-Superbowl-incident, we don’t even believe in an accidental nip-slip anymore.

And all these “naked” dresses? It’s like even when I can’t see the nipple the whole thing is still about the nipples.

I’ve personally come full-circle on my bra journey too, because we all know that’s way more a mental thing than a physical thing. (Unless you have beautiful big, big boobies in which case I definitely agree it’s a matter of practicalities.)

When I first started “developing” (blush!), I worked for minimum wage as a “Sandwich Artist” at Subway so I could go out and buy bras.

They symbolized a portal to the world of womanhood. I wore them when I needed a confidence boost. When I wanted to attract young men who were that easily attracted.

NipplesFast-forward to 2016 and holy smokes I think it’s the sexiest thing IN THE WORLD to see a woman in a crisp white shirt with no bra underneath.

When you can only just tell she’s not rocking the wires, because you’re staring at her from across the café so much anyway because she holds herself like she’s made of expensive but robust flowers.

It’s like she’s teasing her male companions – challenging them not to glance down when a cool breeze comes by their table. She looks them in the eye and these 30+ men turn into 13 year-old droolers.

Obviously stuff started blowing up after Free The Nipple was released in 2014, and lots of women use Instagram, and we can all agree that Instagram’s archaic policies just beg to be constantly taunted. Facebook blocks users who post incredible photos of topless tribal women practicing and celebrating their culture, but allows underage girls in push-up bikinis at the beach.

What’s so special about the areola? Men and women both have these same bits. Some women just have more tissue in that area. That’s the visual difference, so why aren’t there “decency settings” for side-boob? Why doesn’t Facebook block repeat under-boob-exposing offenders?

And while we’re at it, why are people having such oddly heated responses to Equinox’s latest breastfeeding advertisement? What’s the big deal? You’re in New York City for crying out loud – everywhere you turn there are mammoth pictures of Victoria’s Secret Angels in bras that push their boobs up so high they’re basically double chins.

One of these images perpetuates a singular and often dangerous ideal of beauty. The other one involves a mother and child. Guess which one gets more complaints.

Female nipples have always been in fashion. And in art. Oh – and in life. (Most of us even drank from them for several months!) I’m just getting real tired of feeling like someone else’s idea of “sexiness” somehow dictates what is an “acceptable exposure” of my body. If you can’t handle a bit of nipple, go home and finish puberty.

– Bri
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