Do you feel like you’re always caught up in bad situations and you just can’t seem to stop thinking about them?
I’ve had plenty of these issues before (and I still do now) – and I’ll be the first to say it sucks. If you’re like me, then you probably take most of your encounters personally and literally. When those encounters go sour, I always have a pretty hard time letting go of negative thoughts, the pain, and the situation itself. I know how badly it can weigh you down and disrupt your daily activities. But through the years, I’ve learned how to let go and channel that energy into something positive. You can do the same if you condition your mind to. Read on to get the four tips that have helped me let go of the past.
– Drop the expectations
Expectation is the root of all disappointment. If you feel like people are just upsetting you, lower your expectations and standards for those around you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with expecting things from people especially when it’s a working relationship, but know that expectations become problematic when your bar gets higher. And if you’re a natural high-performer, then you’re probably guilty of this. Once you learn to drop the expectations regardless of your actions or efforts, you’ll become less disappointed and let go faster.
– Stop the blame game
I’ve realized that when I struggled to let something go in the past, it’s because I was too attached to who or what the cause was… Was it me? Was it them? Could I have done something better? The more you blame yourself, the harder it is to let go. You’ll end up mulling over it for days, weeks, and years. And the more you blame others, the more you dislike them. It never really matters whose fault it is in the end. What’s more important is moving forward regardless of the end result.
– Let it hurt, then let it go.
If something bothers you that much, give it time to soak in. Allow the pain to consume you for a while, then make the decision to let it go. Nothing ever disappears on its own. You need to make a conscious effort – and don’t forget that you ALWAYS have a choice. Yes, things will get worse before they get better, but it always gets better. Of course, it’s not as easy as it sounds, but I promise that if you focus on the present and do the things that bring you joy, you’ll eventually learn to let go of the past and the pain.
– Take time to yourself.
Last but not least, just take a moment to yourself and breathe (and do not associate alone time with loneliness). We’ve all been cursed with busy minds. With the massive amount of information we absorb daily, it’s important to slow down, marinate on it, and organize it. Having time to do exactly that helps you keep your mind clear while giving you a more accurate perspective of the situation. It’s pretty impressive what happens in your mental and emotional state when you finally gain perspective.