One of the most important things a blogger has to learn how to do is overcome shyness…
Watching someone put photos of themselves everywhere online might lead you to think these people are extremely confident and extroverted, but most bloggers are super shy in real life. I think that has been one of the most surprising things I’ve learned working in this industry. Reality is, it’s much easier to put yourself in front of tons of people you’ll likely never run into. I also happen to be one of those… I can write for hours fluidly – and even do extremely well driving one-on-one conversations, but when it comes to a room full of people (or more than 3 people), I shut down. #introvertproblems
It’s extremely hard to run a blog with this mentality… So, how do you overcome shyness?
Do more things that scare you.
I’m sure you can think of so many things that make you uncomfortable – and those things vary from person to person. A few weeks ago, I ran into a situation that took me far out of my comfort zone. I was in NYC when I stumbled upon THE Anh Co Tran and nearly had a heart attack! Most people lose their mind over bloggers and celebrities but I lose my mind over makeup artists, hair stylists, and photographers (the behind-the-scenes team).
We were literally crammed back to back in a tiny Vietnamese restaurant. I was so nervous and excited I could barely bring myself to say “hi” – I was terrified! After what felt like an hour or so, I finally racked up the courage to turn around, tap him on the back, say “Hi” and ask for a photo. I was surprised at how startled, friendly and humble he was – and I think he was just as surprised that I knew who he was. Looking back at this moment sounds a little embarrassing… why was I so scared and uncomfortable? I don’t even know… but that one incident has taught me that if I want to approach someone, I just need to do it. Any opportunity you don’t take now is a potentially missed lifetime opportunity. Who knows if I’ll ever see him again!
Play the power trick.
Brittany spoke about the Lord & Taylor shoot we did over the summer with Zanita, but Zanita did teach us a really good trick. She instructed me to envision myself as a kick-ass lady boss going to a meeting and shaking other people’s hands – basically, visualize yourself dominating the world! It really helped (and worked) considering I had never done a photoshoot before! The saying is true… if you see yourself doing it, you will eventually do it!
Rewire your brain.
Figure out why something is making you uncomfortable and reframe it in your mind. For me, self-promotion is just something I cannot wrap my brain around. I don’t want to be that one person, but it’s not about being that person. I’ve learned to think of sharing my work as literally just sharing my work rather than looking at it as a way to brag about myself. The more people take interest in it, the more I’ve excited I’ve become about sharing frequently…
Why bother making a big deal out of an issue that exists purely in your mind? If you have no negative intentions when doing something, don’t allow your mind to tell you that it’s wrong.
How do you cope with shyness?