First and foremost, I missed writing for Zanita Studio, which has become a lot like my second digital home for about a year now. It’s funny how things in life go and how you become accustomed to having that daily routine.
And it’s even funnier how having a daily routine can leave us muddled to the point where we’re not even sure what’s happening in life.
I’m a very absorbent and anxious person, so when I have a task to knock out, I feel like I’m incapable of focusing on anything else. For example, I was taking a course at Parson’s, which finalized this past week – and I could not put my energy elsewhere outside completing the course. I have an obnoxious drive to finish something before moving on. This often leaves me feeling sick all the time because nothing ever seems to be completed.
But I had to remind myself that we ourselves are a work in progress.
So I took a step back. I stopped posting here and on my own blog, I Life You, and focused solely on my final projects and exams. It’s not the best way to deal with stress, but I sometimes feel incapable of doing a good job when I try to focus on too many things at once. It’s just proof that one must find a formula that works and do it.
I’ve also been struggling with finding myself and figuring out what I want to do and what my life will look like in the next year. The problem with living in New York is that things are constantly changing. And you don’t have time to stop and smell the roses. The people, the rhythm, the pace – they don’t stop!
So, what’s a small town girl supposed to do? Let it ride? Join the ride? Get off the ride? I’m at an all time impasse trying to understand what it is that I really want to do. I’m a creative, so I definitely need one or more outlets to glide.
But I’m also tired of this constant need to be relevant. Remember the days when discussions occurred throughout meals because no one had phones to prove them right or wrong? I miss moments of unplugging from everything and inhaling the moment. Enjoying people’s company. Having great conversations that don’t center around phones, Instagram, or the web. I miss not worrying about numbers and just wondering if that boy likes me or not.
Of course we all have to grow up and ride the tides. Or should we keep fighting it? I would love some advice, if you’re going through the same feelings – uninspired, unmotivated, and down- Let’s help each other out!
Have a great weekend everyone!