Personal Life

Befriending an Ex – Yay or Nay?

Written by: Susan Hang

I’m one of the few individuals who have a magically great friendship with a former (serious) boyfriend. Although most may assume the relationship ended under mutual terms or that respect for one another existed all along, I can certainly tell you, alongside those who’ve watched us over the years, the breakup was far from rainbows and butterflies. Luckily, we were able to put the misery behind us and proceed as friends – it’s been almost 10 years now, but that’s what seems to surprise everyone else most. I’m most appalled by the reactions of friends and family around us who gasp, sputter, and frown at our ability to communicate without feeling bitter and angry as well as our genuine happiness for one another. Even more unfathomable is the demands of the former’s significant other to cease all methods of interaction considering 10 years have passed.

My biggest confusion now is how a friendship between former partners defies all logic.

Befriending an Ex I realize it’s common nature to see old couples abruptly cut one another off – we see this in every day life from bloggers and former boyfriend photographers to celebrities and even friends around us, but why can’t they be friends? Without a doubt, there were moments of screaming in the streets, slamming doors, and cursing one another, but I’m sure there were equal moments of extreme bliss, overwhelming love, and sweet surrenders. For that reason, I’m not sure if I can truly believe two individuals who’ve been in a genuine relationship hate one another.

A friendship seems perfectly reasonable in my mind because at one point in time, they really did like (or love) one another and although it’s no longer that “I need you, can’t breathe without you” kind of love, it’s a free-feeling kind of happiness and certainly a unique, inexplicable bond.

And to be able to continue a friendship with someone who truly understands you, doesn’t judge you, and most importantly, lets you loose like a balloon making its way into the skies, is something special that not just anyone gets to experience.

If you’re able have that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, jump at it and don’t just let it pass. And don’t be the current significant other that freaks out in jealousy because you don’t believe such friendships endure alongside extinct romance. Am I delirious? Sound off below.

XO,

Susan

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Image Source Credits – Visual Optimism, Vogue